So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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