Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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