So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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