let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
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It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
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He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
It's no shave November. This is our time.