I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.