it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"