I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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