How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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