i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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