I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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