He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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