You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize