Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How does one acquire holy water?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
