A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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