btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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