I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
