he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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