There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
