gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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