ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
