That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
