I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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