I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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