Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
