i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
