My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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