I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
