took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The beer is more important than you right now.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
