So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
