I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize