Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
