was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
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