ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
