I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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