i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
