its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize