the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
