Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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