i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Did you just see the Batmobile???
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
