I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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