Your dad touched me again.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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