You really coming over, don't trick.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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