and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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