I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
