can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize