i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
