She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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