ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
