I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
