I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
