who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
