No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
