you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
