I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize