Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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