so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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