??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just puked most of my soul out..
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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