i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The best revenge is premature balding
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
