My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize